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2012 Movies... Continued...


After seeing the Amazing Spider-Man I had such passionate non passion that I wanted to vent it somewhere. So I thought, what better time to catch up on a little movie reviewing action. So here's from beginning of May on wards...

Contraband - 3/5 - Marky Mark and guns. I'm in. Marky's brother in law is an annoying douche, but serves the plot I guess. Kate Beckinsale is too good for "the girlfriend" role. It's Ocean's 11 with an actual ocean, sans banter.

Chronicle - 2/5 - I dream of the day I'll be bestowed Jedi Force like powers. These dudes a given such powers and spend them making a shit movie.

the Rum Diaries 1/5 - Fear and Loathing it is NOT! Quirky in moments. Boring in most others.

Young Adult 4/5 - The message was hammered a little hard and no real redemption for the protagonist... But the protagonist, Charlize Theron is hot and her side kick Patton Oswalt was on the money.

Descendants - 4/5 - LOVED IT. George Clooney is pretty freakin great. Why do I not know think this on the regular. The daughter, Shailene Woodley, is awesome!

30 minutes or less - 2/5 - Fairly large piece of shit. When the ad-libbing is "hey guys here's the bit we ad-libbed, look how spontaneous and funny we are" YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!

Tower Heist - 0/5 - ARRRRRRGGGHHHH damn this makes 30 minutes or less look like the best movie ever. Monstrous steaming pile of poo type whatnots. Ben Stiller should have been on my no-go list a loooong time ago.

Saving Private Ryan - 4/5 - Rewatched this after having visited Normandy. And being I also champion Ton Hanks, thought I should check back in with the man. Loooong. But shooty type drama goodness.

Our Idiot Brother - 3/5 - No, I'm the idiot for picking this up. Nah, it actually fairly decent. Elizabeth Banks is always great. Paul Rudd is almost always great. And this movie was not half bad.

J. Edgar - 2.5/5 - Leonardo Dicapprio takes himself very seriously. I wanted to love this movie, but it could be quite slow in parts and old Dicappiro was a little distracting.

Man on a Ledge - 4/5 - Elizabeth Banks ya heard! Weird to see her sooo straight but she sold it. It's kind of a popcorn thinker, if that makes sense... It's a dumb person's think piece, no that's too far... It was "popcorn clever"!! There we go, got there. I don't know, it was pretty good.

Machine Gun Preacher - 4/5 - The name made the wife dismiss it. But it's one of those times where hearing "Based on a True Story" really sells it. Made a lot of it mean more. The heavy bits were HEAVY!!! Good good watch!

The Debt - 3/5 - Good movie. Casting was a little weird for the older versions of the characters. The two old men would have made WAAAAY more sense playing the opposite role in terms of looks. The twists were great, and totally took the movie a different way.

The Grey - 3/5 - Liam Neeson is the white Denzel! No brainer. Watch his shit. Bunch of wolves hunt Liam Neeson. Was a little formulaic for a Liam Neeson movie. Was a bit straight forward. But still a fun movie.

John Carter - 2/5 - Definitely helped watching it with a friend and beers. Cracking jokes at John Carters expense made an otherwise pretty crap movie, enjoyable.

The Amazing Spider-Man - 2.5/5 - SPOILERS. I'm gonna spoil stuff, so if you're still to see it, squint to the point of actual eye closure. In fact just close your eyes.


Now, disclaimer… I assume you're totally aware if you've read any of my blogs that I like stuff, I often even love stuff. I honestly believe life is more fun when you just give in and let yourself like the ridiculous. And, I'm an avid comic book reader. I've been reading Spider-Man comics on and off for over 20 years.

Anyone who has Google and cares knows that this movie exists because the studio needs to keep Spider-Man movies in production or the rights revert back to Marvel. So I fully understand why the movie exists, and have no beef with that. (Even though I'd LOVE Marvel to get it back and do it 100% there way and it be in the Avengers universe)

Amazing Spider-Man left me saying that annoyingly way overused internet verbiage - meh.

And maybe this movie isn't for me. Maybe it's for kids. Or a new audience that had just been born and hasn't seen the recent Spider-Man movies or cartoons.

The movie felt like a big missed opportunity. Sitting through the origin again was a little painful. I can only speak as me, someone whose seen and read this origin many times. In terms of missed opportunity, Batman Begins gave us Batman's origin again, but it was such a different angle.

I looked forward to a fresh new way of approaching the origin, instead it was almost beat for beat the Sam Raimi origin just with minor details changed to seem different. While Sam Raimi's first Spider-Man film was almost 10 years ago, the series culminated in Spider-Man 3 which came out 5 years ago. So that mythos is still very fresh.

Marvel rebooted with the Incredible Hulk. Hot on the heels of the first Hulk. And, it was perfectly done in the sense of re-telling the origin but approaching it differently without shitting on the comic book or the first movie.

Not sure we had to have sooo many echos of Raimi's Spider-Man throughout this new movie.

Lizard talking to himself?? Arrgh… I would have thought you want to stay away from the Osborn/Green Goblin comparison. Was there not another way to show the characters inner turmoil?

And Spider-Man was kinda a jerk. "The small knives" thing came off as arrogance instead of trademark intimidating wit. Then trash talking the cop seemed weird, Spider-Man was immediately defensive which made him not at all sympathetic. 

Further jerkage, fighting the Lizard in the school, Lizard says "I want to help them Peter, why are you stopping me?" Rather than answer Spider-Man attacks him and then says "Dr Connor please lets talk this out" waits a beat then "Don't wanna talk? ok" and webs his mouth shut… Unless there was something cut in the middle this just made no sense and made Spider-Man look like an asshole.

Into the second half of the film I thought "ok here we go, this is cool" but then it started to deteriorate once more, culminating in that god awful crane scene. Sam Raimi's movies did this too, America, or New York rather, has to help out... The message that we can all be heroes needs to be delivered for some reason. But never in the Raimi films did it feel soooo hamfisted and corny. I can forgive the fact that conveniently there were cranes on each block, but the "C'mon New York, we gotta help Spider-Man" was just irrking.

My favorite bit of the trailer was the POV of Spider-Man swinging and climbing walls. I looked forward to an extended version of that in the movie because it was something I'd never seen done before and was breathtaking to watch. WTF?!?! They include maybe 6 seconds of the POV. Less than half the length of the POV in the trailer?!?!?!

But it's Spider-Man. I'm meant to love this?!

The web shooters were awesome. Gwen Stacy/Emma Stone was awesome. Andrew Garfield was good with what he was given as Peter Parker. Denis Leary was great.

But where'd the Oscorp guy go? He gave the villian the ultimatum that setup the whole 3rd act, he's chased across the bridge till Spider-Man interrupts and then he's forgotten about.

Much like Uncle Ben's killer. He's still at large? Spider-Man doesn't care anymore?

Why were the Lizard's going towards the Lizards den?

The credits rolled and I wasn't sure how I felt.

Then the Curt Connors talking to Osborn scene happened… Groaningly bad and corny.

It kinda cemented my overall feeling. Pretty average.




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