My brother from the same mother Broni took a big life leap, made a big time play on the back of inspiration taken from a Gregory Page lyric. "Don't dream you life, live your dream". It's very poetic. Not just the line, but the story. The romance of it though never hit me the same, as at least part of my dream life it would seem is completely unobtainable.
So it's weird then that over the last few days another Gregory Page lyric has really been resonating with me. "It's never too late to be the person you were meant to be". You could almost decipher the same meaning from each, but there is a subtle difference.
Almost as a self therapy session I decided awhile back that this blog would be a tell(almost)all tale. Front street. So it's here that I often lament about what I am. When once it was so clear - "I play in a rock band" - now it's murky and weird. I post regularly about my creative whatnots on my Speds Facebook Page and in as few as three posts I think the reader also would be confused as to what I am.
I've discussed at length prior that I feel I lack that "thing". That one created piece of something that deserves that big push. To be pushed until those magical fairies grant that wish. Whatever that may be. And yet with distance comes clarity.
While clerking the comic book store conversation turned to me having written and drawn my own comic book. And, know me at all in the real world and you'll know I'm not the "hey look at this thing I did" guy. I brought a copy of Badly Beaten Boy into the store for next time I ran into this customer. During a quiet time I picked it up and gave it a flick. Distance. Clarity. Ya know what, that thing ain't half bad. I sure as hell have paid good money for a few comics a lot worse. It's cute. Funny even.
Fast forward - I run into a person I've admired from afar for some time. When talk got to his writing I, in passing mentioned my own. As we both down-played our scripts in a weird "I assume yours is awesome and mine sucks" back and forth we agreed on a forced script swap. I gave Further Education a read through before sending. I had done a re-draft a few months back. And yep... Distance. Clarity.
Self High Five, Diamond Dallas Page style, I think it's my thing. I don't know man, it's reads strong to me. My big hang up has been that I set it in an Adult Education Center before the TV show Community existed and now the idea feels kinda ripped. But it reads different. Feels entirely different. There's 45 cop shows and 34 doctor shows on right NOW, no?
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. This is no grand statement. I'm no closer to any sort creative awakening. The weird chill is always present. But I'm enjoying this moment of inspiration. I've found some sort of solace in my scribbles and scribing. I have a meeting on the weekend with a gentlemen I want to make two rock'n'roll records with next year. And I have a heart beat. Now to make the most of it.